On March 16th I had another MRI to see if the tumor grew or went away. There was a slight chance that it was inflammation and it would go away. On March 23rd I heard back from the neurosurgeon. It did not go away. It grew from 5mm-15mm in one month. So now the craniotomy is scheduled for March 31st.
When the doctor told me it grew bigger and I needed surgery, the only thing I could think of was what to tell my job. I was in the first three weeks of training at my new job, so I was afraid they were just going to let me go. Fortunately, I work for a superb company and they put me on leave and are letting me keep my insurance and keeping me as an employee. I just have to re-do training in April. Woo Hoo!
Anyways, it took me a few hours but I finally broke down. I was talking to James and realized I am extremely scared about this surgery. I am terrified of what might happen. The neurosurgeon has over 20 years of experience and is in the OR two days a week, every week. I am confident in him and his surgical team that they will get me through this. I have also looked up the hospital where I will be staying and I am confident things will go great!
Surgery is always scary, so I am focusing on what I can control in my life and letting the universe work this one out for me. It’s in their hands now. I have been a good person all my life and tried to control everything around me and make sure everyone around me is happy and doing ok. Now the universe can take this one and make sure I am ok.
I will continue to have hope and continue to be positive about all of this. Monday I go in for pre arrival testing, then Friday is the big day. I will get through this, and so will you if you are going through a hard time in your life as well.