Well, on the doctors orders I am heading back to work. Monday I will begin working in a call center, I am just hoping I will finally be ok with the keppra that I am not so tired all day long.
It’s scary to think that for ten years I have been so independent in my relationship with James. Working, going to school, going shopping when I want, etcetra. Now I have to rely on him to take me everywhere because I can’t drive while on this medication (as mentioned in my previous post).
Yesterday we went to Walmart to get some groceries and we for separated for a few minutes. I panicked. I didn’t know where he was or how to find him. You are probably thinking, “duh call him on your phone”. Well, my brain didn’t think that in my panic until he walked around the corner. I immediately calmed down.
This right here, being so dependent on another person for one small thing, is terrifying to me. I don’t know how to let go and be this dependent. Granted I can do other things alone, but I have to be careful because I don’t know what could trigger a seizure.
My nephew, not thinking, flashed a bright light in my eyes for a few seconds today. James panicked. My head started hurting, I started seeing spots and getting sick to my stomach, and now my eyes hurt like there is a bunch of sinus pressure behind them. I’m pretty sure James won’t sleep tonight.
We will get through this and be stronger for it in the end. We have a huge family supporting us and helping us through this, as well as loads of prayers from across the country.
I’m excited to start work and scared to be away from James for so long, but I know I can do this and I will be awesome! Positivity over everything!
**James and I hanging out last night**